Tuesday, July 30, 2013

Zhengzhou, Gotcha Day, and Taveling to Anyang

     "Orphans are easier to ignore before you know their names. 
 But once you do, everything changes.
David Platt, "Radical"


We left Beijing Sunday morning, and flew into Zhengzhou, Henan Province, where Hudson was born.  As soon as we stepped off the plane we were met by intense heat and humidity.  Our guide here, Yisha, was worried that the heat would be too much for us.  But it's really not that much different from our Alabama heat...we have just been spoiled by an unnaturally cool summer this year. 
Our hotel lobby in Zhengzhou
 
 
 Zhengzhou is the capital city of the Henan Province, where Hudson was born in Anyang city.  Beijing is flashy, modern China and Zhengzhou is a look at "real" China.  The highways and roads are the biggest difference between the U.S. and China.  On any road you will find cars, tractors, mopeds, bicycles, and pedestrians all together and fighting for their spot on the road.  Our bus has curtains, and I find that I have a much better peace of mind if I just keep them closed and do not pay attention to the bus driver's driving:)  There is such a drastic difference in the social system on the streets here.  There will be flashy, foreign cars zipping around on the road, while off to the side you might see a limbless beggar being pushed on a cart by a friend.  Extreme wealth, extreme poverty, all living together. 

The first night we were in Zhengzhou we all took a trip to the local Walmart.  The walk was very hot, even at 7:00 at night.  In both cities that we have been in so far, the streets are the place to be and hang out.  There might be a guy break dancing to his boom box on one corner, while a group of ladies is doing group exercise in a square across the street.  This is a very social country...the U.S., not as much.  We arrived at Walmart, which was two stories tall.  The bottom floor was food, the second floor everything else.  We definitely saw some foods that you do not see at our local grocery.  It was very crowded, and pretty overwhelming for everyone in our group.  When we got ready to check out we realized that you have to pay for the grocery sacks.  Most locals bring their own bags.  It's a good thing that we did not buy too many things...the walk back to the hotel was not as pleasant as the walk there.   
 
 
 


 

 

      The next day, Monday July 29, was our groups Gotcha Day.  This is the day when everyone gets their children.  There are three families that are not with our agency, but have the same itinerary as our group.  A total of 10 children were meeting their forever families that day!!  We left for the civil affairs office at 9:30...that is where we were to get our children.  I can't explain the peace that I felt that morning and the days leading up to that point.  I am usually a very anxious person in situations such as this.  But God COMPLETELY took away any fears and in their place put such a spirit of excitement in me.  Our guide told us that the children would be arriving at different times.  When we made it into the office two of the children were already there...a little girl named Lily and Hudson!  He was asleep on a couch in the room.  His nanny had brought him to Zhengzhou on the night train, and she told us that he did not get very much sleep.  We picked him up, and his little face had confusion written all over it.  But after that, he was fine!!!  He let Nathan and I hold him for a long time.  Then other children started arriving and the room was noisy chaos...children wailing everywhere, pictures being snapped.  Hudson did get a little upset at this time, but he soon calmed down.  Watching the other families get their children was one of the most emotional moments of my life.  I think what choked me up the most was watching two older children meet their families, a twelve year old girl and a thirteen year old boy with cerebral palsy.  Once an orphan turns 14, they are no longer able to be adopted.  This young boy turns 14 in two weeks.  Watching this scene, I felt like God gave me a small glimpse of the enormous love He has for these children.  It truly brought me to tears. 

 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 After our work at the Civil Affairs office was through, we all boarded our bus with our new family members.  Taking Hudson back to our room, we let him take a good nap.  When he woke up, he was really in a great mood.  He will let both me and Nathan hold him...this is VERY rare, but it helps us out tremendously.  Most newly adopted children attach quickly to one of their new parents...and will not give the other parent the time of day.  Several little girls in our group are really grieving...they sadly cry most of the time or just completely shut down.  So far we have not seen any of this behavior from Hudson.  He has started to whine a little when I go out of sight, but will still let Nathan hold and comfort him.  I pray that things will continue to go so smoothly.
 
 
 
 
 
 
     Yesterday  we had a very busy day.  First, a trip to finalize our adoption, then on to the notary office.  In the early afternoon Nathan, Hudson, and I had to take a 6 1/2 hour trip to the city of Anyang.  This is where he was born.  We applied for his passport...his picture is so cute.  I will try to post it.  He loved the ride to and from Anyang.  There are not many babies that ride in car seats here, so he got to stand up in the back seat and look out the rear window of the van.  He loved this!  He babbled at passing cars and banged his hands on the window.  Once back "home," he was exhausted and was fussier than usual.  It took him quite a while to settle down to sleep.  I think he was just overly tired...plus it was way later than his usual bedtime - which is 6:00 pm!
    
 








 


     He has been a little fussy this morning...I think it is the affects of yesterday's big trip.  But he ate a big breakfast...a bottle, yogurt, eggs, peaches, and some banana bread.  He is now snoozing in his crib, taking a morning nap.  Next stop, the southern city Guangzhou!
 

Sunday, July 28, 2013

Beijing

     "Do not be afraid, for I am with you. 
I will bring your children from the east and gather you from the west."
Isaiah 43:5


     It is day five of our trip - I am so behind on this blog.  The internet in Beijing was just so sketchy.  Nathan and I researched ways to get a better connection before leaving.  We downloaded a vpn, "Panda Pow, " which we could not have done without.  Love the name:)  But no matter how prepared you are, sometimes there is just nothing you can do about it.  It is actually "gotcha day" morning here...July 29, 2013.  I am afraid that if I do not record my thoughts and pictures from the first part of our trip very soon, there is so much I will forget once we get Hudson.  As it is, there is just so much to see and experience I do not even begin to know where to start.

     Beijing was just awesome.  All of your senses are just in overload there.  The day after we experienced The Forbidden City, the Hutong, and Tiananmen  Square we got to experience the real streets of Beijing, in the Wangfujing area.  Our guide, George, had told us that this was Beijing's "Time's Square."  Up until this point, Nathan and I had only ventured outside of our hotel's doors once by ourselves.  I had no idea just how much we were going to be in the minority here.  Two ladies from our group had gone out all on their the day before.  I think they were in shock - their day sounded like something out of a crazy movie.  Apparently they were drawn into a "tea scam", harassed at a local bank, got lost and could not find any one who spoke English.  I can't even remember the rest.  So after hearing this, our intimidation of leaving the safety of the hotel was even bigger!

     Thankfully, it was wonderful timing that a friend from Gadsden was in the same area of Beijing as us...only blocks away.  She has been living in Luoyang, Henan Province, for the last two years as the preschool teacher at Maria's Big House of Hope.  She was so kind to meet us at our hotel and take us into some really neat areas of the Wangfujing area.  We got to see street vendors selling crazy foods, experience some really different and interesting smells :) and go to a local mall.   

A beautiful church

The street vendors

Starfish, scorpion, and lizard kabobs.  Yum!


fruits

another fruit...about the size of a watermelon
 

 

 
 
 
 
     Next stop, Zhengzhou.  This is the capital city of Hudson's home province, Henan.  Please pray that our group's children will have peace in their hearts as they meet their new families.  And pray the parents will as well:) 
 
 
 

 
 

 


Friday, July 26, 2013

In A Land Far, Far Away...

     To sum up everything that has taken place in the last couple of days, all I can say is "WOW."  My first "wow" is used to describe our travel experience...my tone of voice might sound a little sarcastic here:)  I knew that the plane ride from Chicago's O'Hare Airport was going to be looong, but I truly had no idea how it would really feel to be on an airplane for 13 hours straight.  We woke up early Wednesday morning (2:45 am) and were picked up by Nathan's parents at 3:30.  Made it to the airport by 4:30, and took off for Chicago by 6:00 am.  After arriving in Chicago by 8:00 am, we had a 4 hour layover before our 12:00 noon flight to Beijing would take off.  I learned that Chicago's O'Hare airport is the busiest airport in the world...so true.  Once we settled in at our gate, it was pretty neat to learn that there were several other adoptive families that would be flying with us.  I think that excitement and pure adrenaline is what got us through the next part of our journey.  I am already getting anxious thinking about the trip home with Hudson.  15 hours (and I thought 13 was bad) on a plane with a 12 month old we have known for less than 2 weeks.  Start the prayers now, please:)

     The next part of our trip has truly been "WOW!"  We are part of an amazing travel group including about 8 other adoptive families from all over the US.  Our guide, George, took us on a tour today of a Hutong, Tiananmen Square, and the Forbidden City.  I will let the pictures do the talking...

A hutong is a traditional Chinese home,
at one time belonging to only the upper class
 



A hutong is a group of homes built together,
connected by many alleys
 
 
 
 The hutong we visited was the home of Mrs. Wu, above. 
 She is now 77.
 
Girl posing for us in the alley. 
The children we saw were beautiful!!!
 
The view from our rickshaw.

 Our travel group

 Entering the Forbidden City















 
 
 
      It has been amazing getting to see a part of Hudson's homeland.  Part of me is sad that we will be taking him from his heritage.  Leaving China will be bittersweet.  

Saturday, July 13, 2013

Travel Approval-Hudson Here We Come!

     I am so behind on this blog...I keep waiting for an "aha" moment.  When I have a really creative way to share what is going on.  So much has happened lately that I can't really afford to wait, so here goes:)

     Friday, July 5 was a very special day.  Half-way around the world a baby boy in China was turning one!  As sad as I am that we missed it, I have peace knowing that he was very loved and cherished on that day.  There was a beautiful cake, his friends celebrated with him, and special pictures were taken so that we can one day share all it all with him.  God decided to give us a special gift on July 5 as well...our travel approval!  If we could not get Hudson by his first birthday, this was the next best thing...a formal invitation from his country to come and get him.  God is so good!

     After getting travel approval, we could not quite determine the dates of our trip until we had our consulate appointment scheduled.  We now know that we leave from Birmingham on July 24, GET HUDSON ON JULY 29, and have our consulate appointment on August 7.  We will be arriving home with our fifth family member on August 9, Griffin's 6th birthday.  I am amazed at how God's timing is the right timing, even though I have had many impatient moments throughout this last year.  Before we started working on Hudson's adoption, there was a very dark time for me - when it seemed that what I thought God was calling us to do was not going to become a reality for our family.  I have had this verse on our fridge ever since...

But these things I plan won't happen right away. 
Slowly, steadily, surely, the time approaches when the vision will be fulfilled. 
If it seems slow, be patient!  For it will surely take place.  It will not be late by a single day.
Habakkuk 2:3
 
     It has been exactly three years ago that God used another families adoption story to open my eyes and heart to the estimated 147 million orphans around the world.  I am so glad that I can now see how perfect his timing really is - that I know He used these years so that I would develop a closer relationship with him.  And it really amazes me that when we started this process just over a year ago, the special child that was always destined to be a part of our family was just being born. 
 
     Several weeks ago, I was getting really impatient.  I wanted to get Hudson by his birthday.  As I should know by now, things don't always go the way I want them to.  And now, once again, I can see the big picture.  Henley has had a Mommy and Me GA Camp planned for a while.  I was sad that I might miss it, but figured that one of her grandmothers could go in my place.  The camp was this weekend - we just got back this afternoon:)  SO glad that I got to spend this time with her before leaving.  Henley, I am so glad that I am the one who got to go with you...I would not have missed it for the world!!!

 

 






 
 
 
 
     Don't worry, Griffin got to have some good daddy and Cornbread time.  Sounds like Cornbread actually behaved himself and was a good boy on the boat.  Very rare...wish I had some pictures:)
 
     As we prepare to leave in 11 days, please pray for Hudson.  To give him a home, we have to completely turn his little life upside down.  Pray for Henley and Griffin.  Getting a new sibling is not ever easy, and they have to start a new school year only one week after we return.  Pray for mine and Nathan's parents, who are so selflessly giving their time to care for our kids while we are away.  And please pray for Nathan and I, that God gives us the peace and wisdom we need to comfort Hudson. 
SEE YA IN CHINA!!!!!





Sunday, June 9, 2013

Ramblings of a Blessed Mama

     Wow - I did not realize it has been almost a month since our last post - time really is speeding by.  Here's where we stand as far as paperwork and such...
-We are waiting for a document titled Article 5 (we will not actually receive this, but it will be sent from China's American consulate to the CCCWA-Chinese Children's Center for Welfare and Adoption).  This should be issued next Tuesday.
-After Article 5 is issued, we will be waiting for our Travel Approval - our official invitation to come to China.  It takes between 2-4 weeks after Article 5 to get this.
-Once we get TA, we will travel anywhere from 10-21 days later.
IF everything happens around the 2 week mark, we could travel as early as July 12.  Most likely, it will fall after the 15.  Just trying to be realistic here:)

     I have been planning a post for a while now about attachment and bonding - now seems like a good time for me to start getting my thoughts organized on these topics.  If you have ever adopted before, you know that attachment and bonding are two words that you hear over and over again.  As parents of biological children, this is just something that we take for granted - it happens completely naturally.  Part of our home study included us reading a book called "The Connected Child."  This is an amazing tool for adoptive parents - but I do have to warn you that reading it might make you question your decision to adopt.  As our wonderful social worker told us, prepare for the worst and pray for the best.  This book definitely includes many worst case scenarios.  I was really scared for Nathan to read it - I was afraid that he might just end it all right then and there:)

     Here is Dr. Karen Purvis' take on attachment...
"Attachment refers to the interpersonal bond between a child and his parents.  A child who felt consistently safe and nurtured by a reliable caretaker in early life will become securely attached.  A securely attached child learns to be comfortable in close relationships."
       Hudson is so blessed to be one of the "best-case scenario" kiddos as far as having reliable caretakers goes.  He spent his first few months at a wonderful home called Little Flower, where I know he received excellent care.  Since leaving Little Flower he has been living in a wonderful Christian group home - I know he has been loved by the staff there. 

     Bonding is defined as "the formation of a close relationship (as between a mother and child) especially through frequent or constant association."  Now this is where I think we are really going to have our work cut out for us.  Hudson knows how to be comfortable in relationships.  A family who recently traveled to get their son (from the same group home) had a chance to visit and play with Hudson and his foster brothers/sisters.  Apparently he was curious, but not afraid, of these pale-faced strangers:)  They described him as "loving to be held and played with."  This sounds really great on paper, but after studying up on good ole "bonding," I have come to realize that this is not always a good thing.  It might be better if he had been a little fearful and clingy to his nanny.  That would mean that he knows how have a close relationship with his primary caretaker.  When a child does not know who the primary caretakers are, they might go to anyone (including strange and scary people at Wal-Mart)!  It is going to be our job to train Hudson in this area.  We get to teach him what it means to have parents.
     So, are you wondering how this is going to happen?  Well, here is where I get really anxious thinking ahead to the future.  We are HIGHLY ENCOURAGED by our agency and social worker to "hunker down" for a while once we get home.  Here is how this is going to look...
-We will be at home with Hudson for as long as it takes for him to start bonding with us (this means no church, no community pool days, no Wal-Mart, no crowds period).
-When we do start to venture out a little (or cheat early in the game) ONLY Nathan and I can "do" for him.  That means no one else needs to pick him up, feed him, change his diaper, hold him, etc.  This is not just us being over-protective, I promise!  All of this is for his good in the long run (sorry grandparents!!!).

     With my two biological sweeties I am completely different (and have been from the beginning).  When they were babies I never hesitated to leave them at the grandparents, church nursery, or gym child care.  We started mothers-day-out at age two.  I am just a better parent when I can have some me time and recharge.  So now you can understand why this is making me anxious!  PLEASE pray that I will have complete peace as I hibernate with my eight, six, and one year old later this summer:)

    Now, on to a less serious topic.  I have begun "nesting" lately - trying to organize and get rid of as much stuff in the house before we add more stuff.  I finally gave in and started washing Hudson's clothing for the trip.  I really am trying to be practical and not pack dressy clothing for him...I understand it is going to be VERY hot in China when we travel.  Comfort and being cool are my two main concerns.  However, I have purchased one special (and a little dressy) outfit for the day that Hudson will officially become an American citizen.  It is kind of a tradition for the kids to wear red white and blue on that day.  Just so you understand why the outfit I found is so special, you have to remember that up until about 3 months ago we thought "Hudson MengQiu" was going to be "Anna Li."  And you also have to know that ladybugs are a symbol of good luck in China adoption.  Once we found Hudson, I pretty much gave up on looking for cute lady bug clothing (not much available in the boy's section).  So when I found this (for only $15 bucks on Ebay - new with tags)  I was thrilled.  Yes, I am guilty of dressing my boys like this when they are babies:)


 
 
 
Please pray...
-for Hudson, our little love bug
-for complete peace as we wait
-for Henley and Griffin (I believe this transition will be the hardest for THEM)
-for peace for me as we begin our hibernation period:)
-for the millions of children in the world WAITING for their families, and the many more who will never know the love of a family
-for the people who dedicate their life to caring and advocating for these children
-that God will use our adoption story as His way of calling other families to adoption and orphan care
 
"Speak up for those who cannot speak for themselves -
ensure justice for those being crushed.  Yes,
speak up for the poor and helpless, and see that they get justice.
Proverbs 31:8-9