Hudson MengQiu Beddingfield

     So much has happened since that last post...   The big question is "how did you get a boy?"  I guess I have to go back to January 29.  This was our log in date, and at this point in the process we officially began waiting for our match.  Our agency matches families when they are next on the list and a child that matches their profile becomes available.  Everyone's profile is different...some put down "boy," some "girl," some put "boy or girl."  Then you mark different medical conditions you would consider.  We had marked "girl."  When we started this, it just always seemed natural that we would get a girl.  Not that we wouldn't want a boy, but I think we were scared to stretch our comfort zone...all the other families we knew that had adopted from China had girls, and it was just what we thought we should do, too.  Now, I will admit that I learned a secret over time...there ARE many, many boys available through this program.  And once I knew this, it actually became a little hard for me to admit to people that we had marked "girl."  When asked, I would say "we marked girl, but if God really puts a boy on our hearts we would consider a boy."  Did I believe what I said?  Not really - I convinced myself that it was totally ok for us to choose that we wanted a girl.  And I still think it is ok for adoptive families to pick the gender of their child...you have to go with your heart.  Everyone's situation is completely unique and special. 
     Well, after we received our LID we noticed something happening on our agency's Waiting Child photo listing website.  The first week, about five young boys with very minor medical needs showed up on the site.  The next week, about five more.  And by the end of the month, there were close to twenty little boys waiting for families.  What was happening was that every family waiting in line for a match was apparently like us...waiting for a girl.  Since these baby boys did not match anyone's profile, they were being advocated for on CCAI's waiting child page because they needed a family.
     As more and more boys became available, I started having a sick feeling in the pit of my stomach.  Was it right that we were waiting for a girl when all of these baby boys needed families?  I argued back and forth with myself, saying that it was totally fine.  I think I was really arguing back and forth with God!  He was really putting this heavily on my heart, but I was not sure I wanted to listen.  Then I just "happened" to come across this verse...

 

 

    

     I actually cried a little when I read this...because I knew what we were supposed to do, but giving up the idea of "Anna Li" was hard!  Will I let Hudson read all of this one day...I DON'T KNOW :-)

Nathan had a really good point...God put adoption on our hearts when it was never in our plans...even after we decided "no, we just can't."  If HE could so amazingly change the course of our lives (and a child's), then why should we be surprised that he was leading us right to the child that was meant to ours all along?

     We finally agreed to check out one of these sweet boys' files.  Little "Qiu" had captured us from the first time we saw his picture, so we decided to review his file over the weekend.  Here are a few of the surprises we found inside...

 

 

 

This is the picture that first captured us on the photo listing...

 

 



The youngest picture we have of sweet An Meng Qiu

 

 

Beautiful eyes!!!

 

 

taken about a month ago...

 

sweetness!!!

 

     Needless to say, we decided way before the weekend was over that we would say "yes" to our little Meng Qiu (pronounced Mung Chew).  We also found out that he arrived at the social welfare institute in Anyang City on July 5, the day the police presumed  he was born.  He was premature, weighing only 4lbs!  He was moved at 12 days old to Beijing, where he resides still (possibly foster group home).  He is HEALTHY, quiet, and likes to laugh :-)  He is now eight months old. 

     Each part of this process has had a wait time.  It will likely be about a five month wait until we can bring baby Hudson home.  Please pray...

-that Hudson will remain healthy

-for his nannies that are taking care of him until we can

-that God will prepare him for us, and us for him

-that he will attach quickly to us and KNOW that we are his family

-for Henley and Griffin (getting a new sibling can be HARD)  :-)

-for peace as we WAIT

-for the children still waiting

Thank you for all of the sweet messages and prayers sent our way...

Aimee, Nathan, Henley, Griffin



 

 

 

It's Official - We have a Log In Date

     This post is way overdue, but it marks a very important step for us.  We have our official Log In Date (LID) - January 29, 2013.  Next step...wait for a referral and be matched with our child!  So more waiting...and I think this is the hardest wait yet.  I have asked one of the Waiting Child staff at our agency (CCAI-Chinese Children Adoption International) if she could give me a vague time frame of when we might receive a referral.  She told us that we were getting closer to the top, but there were several families still ahead of us.  "Several" as in five or twenty?  It is so vague!
     Many people probably do not know what "waiting child" means.  A waiting child is an orphan waiting for a family who has a special need or needs (mild, moderate, or severe), OR an older orphan waiting for a family.  These children are truly "the least of these" and are considered by many in the Chinese culture as unlucky.  The only hope and future for them is the hope of adoption - a forever family.  The face of China adoption has drastically changed over the last few years.  In a program typically known for healthy baby girls, now 95% of the orphans there are children with some type of special need.  The wait for a "healthy" baby girl or boy is over six years!
     Choosing to adopt from the Waiting Child program was probably the hardest decision Nathan and I have ever had to make.  We had to fill out an MCC (Medical Condition Checklist) marking the special needs we would consider.  I have chosen not to list those needs here on the blog - it was a very personal decision.  China's special needs can be so minor - birthmarks, missing or extra fingers or toes, club feet, lazy or crossed eyes.  Things that can be fixed medically here.  Anna Li may or may not have a special need that is visible to the human eye.  All that matters to us is that she is the child God planned for our family.  It is awesome to think that before time began, God knew Anna Li and that she would be a Beddingfield! 
     Since before we even turned in our application to adopt, I have poured over photos of waiting children on websites such as Rainbow Kids and Love Without Boundaries.  The beautiful thing about our "wait" is that over time, you become able to look at these kiddos without seeing a special need, but instead seeing just a child that needs a family.  I am never more proud than when Henley and Griffin look at all the babies who have a cleft lip and palate and talk about how cute and beautiful they are.  They have grown to where they can see past the unclosed lip, and just see a child.
     A verse that is used a lot along with adoption is this...

A father to the fatherless, a defender of widows,

is God in His holy dwelling.  God sets the lonely in families.

Psalm 68:5-6

 

 It is so true that "God sets the lonely in families."  Only God could make my arms ache to hold a child that I have never met, a daughter who is now living literally on the other side of the world.  Dear Anna Li, we cannot wait to see your sweet face!  

DTC!!!

     When we began our China adoption, we also had to learn the adoption "lingo" that goes along with it.  Such as...
-CCCWA (Chinese Center for Children's Welfare and Adoption)
-dossier (our "application" to adopt)
-DTC (dossier to China)
-LID (log in date)
-LOI (letter of intent)
-PA (pre-approval)
-LOA (letter of acceptance)
-TA (travel approval)
-CA (consulate appointment)
     I am so excited that after 7 1/2 months...out dossier is DTC!  It was actually mailed yesterday, but I didn't check my email until today:)  I just hope that when we are sent a child's file to review that it is a day that I actually check my email...
     It will take up to three weeks to get our LID.  Once we have that, then we just wait to be matched!  But it is really hard to say how long this part of the wait will be - it could be a month, it could be 12 months.  Here are prayer requests we are asking for as we WAIT...
-peace as we wait for God's perfect timing
-that God will lay a blanket of protection over Anna Li, and hold her hand until WE can
-that Nathan and I will take this time to smother Henley and Griffin with our love and fill up their love "tanks"
-that God will be preparing Anna Li for our family, and us for her arrival
-for a smooth transition as we adjust to becoming a family of five
    

    

A Beautiful Ending

     Lately, I have been so drawn to a particular family's adoption blog.  It is not someone I know personally, but a friend of a friend.  I think what has drawn me in is this mom's complete honesty, in sharing the good and the bad.  So many people think that once a child is adopted, the fairy tale begins and everyone lives happily ever after.  And I so wish this is how the story always goes.  But what a lot of people don't realize is that these children are broken - they have felt loss and grief that many of us can not imagine. 
     This particular mom has shared the account of bringing home a 16 month old girl from China.  Most of her orphanage days were spent in her bed - a plywood board for a mattress.  Orphanages such as hers are eerily quiet - the children quickly learn that their cries will not be answered, so they simply give up.  After being united with her adoptive parents, she grieves so much that all she can do to comfort herself is bang her head on the bed, and then on her mother's chest as she is being held.  And this is just the beginning.  In the months that follow, this child screams in anger for hours at a time.  She lashes out at her parents and siblings by hitting them.  And the hardest thing is that the mother takes the brunt of it all.  Even though this little girl knows that her mother is the one who is there for her every moment of the day, it's her mother that she pushes away the most.  AND ALL THIS FROM A CHILD ONLY 16 MONTHS OLD AT THE TIME SHE WAS ADOPTED - JUST A BABY!
     Honestly, this blog scares me to death.  But what I see happening as this story unfolds is beautiful.  This child, once so broken and lost, has completely turned around.  After realizing that the love her family has for her is unconditional and that they will never leave her, she has been able to finally trust and begin a truly beautiful life. 
     It is said that adoption is a perfect example of Christ's love - He loves us so much that he adopted us to be His sons and daughters, never to leave us.  But through this little girl's story,  I can see an even bigger picture of God's love for us.  At some point we have all pushed Him away.  Even though we are broken and need Him more than anything else, we hold Him at an arm's length and just won't give in.  We think we can get through it on our own.  But once we completely surrender and accept His unconditional love, our lives can truly be beautiful. 
     Like I mentioned above, this mom's experiences truly scare me and make me question the path that God has chosen for us.  But HER story, as raw and real as it is, also has a beautiful ending.  She confesses that before this adoption, she thought she knew what it meant to completely trust God and give everything over to Him.   Now she can honestly say that she didn't - but during this process she truly learned what it meant to put every minute of every day in His hands.  Only by giving it all over to Him and asking for strength continuously did she survive this season of her life.  And now she can look back and see how her relationship with her savior is more beautiful than she ever imagined it could be. 
     All along, I have sensed that God has a plan for our family through this adoption.  Yes, part of it is definitely to give an orphaned child a home, family, and unconditional love.  But more, I think he wants our family to get much closer to Him - more than we ever imagined we would.  PLEASE keep us in your prayers.  We do not yet know how our story will unfold, but I know that it's ending will indeed be beautiful.

 

He has made everything beautiful in His time.

Ecclesiastes 3:11

Merry Christmas from the Department of Homeland Security!

     One of my favorite things about this special season is receiving Christmas cards.  Among my favorite are the photo cards - I love having a small glimpse into the lives of those who thoughtfully remember our family at Christmas.  But it has been a different mail delivery that has prompted my daily trek to the mailbox this December.  We have been waiting for the final document we need before our dossier can be approved and sent to China - our I-797.  In English, this is the document from the Department of Homeland Security that states we are approved to adopt one child from China.  It can typically take 60-80 days to complete this process and receive your approval.  When you change the days into months (two months or longer), it seems like an even longer wait.  Thankfully, this wait has been during quite a busy time for us.  Christmas programs, class parties, and the usual hustle and bustle of the season have made the wait a little easier.  And I know that God has orchestrated this entire adoption around His perfect timing, even down to the day we receive this final document.
     Earlier in our adoption journey, I was having a hard time submitting to His timing - I selfishly wanted things to happen according to what I thought was the right timing. About this time, I came across the following verse...

 

 

But these things I plan won't happen right away. 

 Slowly, steadily, surely, the time approaches when the vision

will be fulfilled.  If it seems slow, be patient!  For it will surely take place. 

 It will not be late by a single day. 

Habakkuk 2:3 

 

     God's timing was for our 1-797 to arrive this past Friday - yay!!!  As our dossier is getting ready to be sent to China, my prayers are with two families in our community who left for China TODAY to get their precious new children.  How exciting that the vision God had for these families is about to be fulfilled - it will not be late by a single day!



 

  



Life Goes On

     Hmmm, so I have not been very faithful to keeping up with this blog:-)  As much as I think about our adoption (maybe only every other minute of the day?), life is not standing still.  And I guess this is a good thing - staying busy seems to be making this long process a little easier to endure.

     When we started our dossier process (think A LOT of paperwork) at the beginning of June, I was told that it usually takes six months to get all of these documents together.  My super-mom plan was to get it done much faster, of course.  And now here it is (almost six months later) and we are still plugging along.  I have had to learn through this that sometimes there is absolutely nothing you can do but sit and wait (and pray:-)

     So here's an update in where we stand in all of of this...

     -our Home Study is complete (yay!!!)

     -we have started sealing our documents

     -we have sent off our I-800a paperwork (immigration)

     -just yesterday we had our USCIS biometric fingerprints taken

    Here are some pictures of what we have been up to during these last six months...

We took our yearly trip to the beach...
maybe the last time as a family of four!

We feverishly cleaned the house for our home visit from
our social worker...our house will never be this clean again:-)



Henley turned seven.






Henley and I spent time together at "Mommy and Me" G.A. Camp.



Griffin turned five...



 




...and started K4 with sweet Mrs. Roberts.



Henley started first grade.



We went on our yearly Pumpkin Patch trip with the Banks' girls.



Nathan decided to go to Louisiana to do storm damage work. 
I believe his favorite part was meeting Troy from "Swamp People."

The kids picked out their very own Halloween
costumes...yes, Griffin is a sock monkey pirate.

Please pray...

-that our dossier will make it to China in a timely manner (the holidays may hold things up)

-for patience as God works out His perfect timing and matches us with the child who was always meant to be a part of our family

-for that child, that he/she will have not only physical needs met until we can be there, but emotional needs as well

-for an easy transition when we get home (for ALL of us!)

-for the UNADOPTED (the many children waiting, and those who will never be adopted)

May God bless you and your family during this Thanksgiving season!

"One Hundred Good Wishes"

     To welcome and celebrate a new life, it is a Chinese tradition to make a "Bai Jia Bei" (100 Good Wishes quilt).  It is a custom to invite friends and family to contribute a patch of cloth with a wish for the baby.  Part of the patch of cloth goes into the quilt for the baby, and the other part of the cloth can go into a memory book with the wish for the child.  The quilt is supposed to contain the luck, energy, and good wishes from all the family and friends who contributed a piece of fabric.  The quilt is then passed down from generation to generation. 
      Several weeks ago, while searching for fundraising ideas, I came across a really neat site called...(you guessed it) "100 Good Wishes."  This website is not only a tool that we can use to raise financial support, but it also gives us a way to share about our adoption journey and gather good wishes for our sweet baby-to-be!
     Our pastor just recently preached on "True Generosity."  One point that really stood out for me was that God meets needs and answers prayer through generous people...

                      "And my God shall supply all your needs."  Philippians 4:19  

Our human side worries - worries about the thousands of more dollars we will need to pay for this adoption, and the extra expense of a third child.  But we know, without a doubt, that our needs will be supplied :-)
     To check out our "100 Good Wishes" page or make a donation, click on the link located on the right side of this page.  In your generosity, God is meeting the needs and prayers of sweet Anna Li, our baby to be!  To sum up Sunday's sermon...
                      
                              "We are never more like Jesus than when we give."

Thank You!
Nathan, Aimee, Henley, and Griffin